"Norm of the North" Review

Title: Norm of the North

Directed by: Trevor Wall

Screenplay by: Malcom T. Goldman, Daniel Altiere, Steven Altiere, Jack Donaldson, and Derek Elliot

Year: 2016


January is an infamous month for the film industry, as it is known as the cesspool where many awful films are released. Some of the worst movies of the year premiere right at the beginning of it. Why does this happen? I honestly have no idea. So why am I telling you this? Because it is time to look at Norm of the North.

When the Arctic is threatened by human invasion, Norm the polar bear, with the help of his lemming friends, must travel to New York to stop a major corporation from building houses on his land.

And if  you think that is bad, I have yet to mention that this polar bear enjoys listening to his iPod and dancing. More specifically, twerking. I really wish I was making this stuff up but sadly, this actually happens in the film. Where to begin? I guess I could start with the animation. It is sub-par at best. The quality of animation, and even the resolution, is direly poor. I found myself constantly looking away from the screen to give my eyes a break from what I was watching.

The voice cast is unimpressive. Rob Schneider seems like he is the only one committed to the project so he does an okay job. But with the exception of an alright Bill Nighy, the rest of the voice actors give dull performances. Many lines come off very wooden and when the voice actor must exaggerate their voice for the character, it appears half-assed. The cast does not seem devoted or even remotely interested, and it is probably because of the story. Oh God, the story.

So, the humans want to move into the Arctic because...they can I guess. Oh wait, I forgot that the humans love touring the Arctic in this film. Why? Because the animals put on a show for them. I am not joking. The animals, fully aware what tourists are, believe that if the humans do not like them, the humans will kill them. What? How and why would tourists kill these animals? Anyway, the animals put on dance numbers for the humans to get their approval, and Norm's dancing proves to be a big hit. A corporation wants to start building homes in the Arctic to make a profit. Norm does not take kindly to this and decides he has to go to New York to stop this from happening.

Did I forget to mention that Norm can speak to humans? Well, he can, and apparently this is a special trait that he inherited from his grandfather. So apparently Norm is a special polar bear. I have yet to mention the ridiculous subplot of Norm wanting to be the king of the Arctic. He continuously wants to prove himself and this plot thread feels shoehorned into the movie just to add a few more minutes to make it feature length. And the resolution to it is so lazily and poorly written that it truly feels like a kindergartner was behind it. And there is another minor sub-plot that introduces a love interest for Norm, but then we never see her again until the end of the film. What?

And there is yet another sub-plot about what actually happened to Norm's grandfather, which is not even fully explained. And then we have yet another sub-plot involving the daughter of one of the people helping Norm save the Arctic and how her mother does not spend enough time with her as well as how she deeply cares for the Arctic. In addition, sprinkled throughout the film are various dance sequences of varying length, each one featuring a recent pop hit. If you could not tell already, this movie is severely lacking in focus and good storytelling, especially the latter. In fact, the majority of the dialogue in the film is exposition. Characters say how they feel and have to explain everything. For instance, remember that daughter I mentioned and how she wishes she could spend more time with her mother? Well, here is a line in the movie:

Norm: Your mom is very good at her job. You should be proud of her.

Olympia: Yeah, sometimes I wish she wasn't so good at her job. That way she could spend more time with me.

Had they not given that second line to Olympia, the scene would have been significantly better, because her feelings are implied and relies on the audience to pick up on what she is saying. I know this is intended for children, but even they do not need everything explained to them.

Speaking of being made for children, why is there so much toilet humor in this film? Honestly, I want to know why. There are so many poop jokes and fart jokes. Here is another line in the film.

Norm: I really need to do something.

Socrate: Eh, number one or number two?

Who thought this was a good idea? Within the next scene, a bird poops on a man twice, the lemmings have a terribly unfunny fart joke later in the film, I could go on. There is even a joke about homosexuality in the film that will go over every child's head. Why is that in this film? Oddly enough, I found it to be the best joke in the film (which really is not saying much) but it should not be in here to begin with. And what is with all of the pop culture references? The movie frequently mentions famous celebrities and icons in an attempt to get a laugh but it never works. This is a film that strives so hard to be funny but every joke feels so forced and shoved in your face that none of the humor sticks.

Norm of the North is a predictably bad movie. None of the cast and crew members seem interested, the animation is sloppy, and the story is a gargantuan mess. Now, I know what the excuse is. "This is a kid's movie. It's meant to entertain them." I would have to disagree with that. Just because it is an animated film does not mean that it can only appeal to children. Parents will be watching this with their kids and they will have a miserable experience. Last year we had three great animated features; Inside Out, Shaun the Sheep: The Movie, and The Peanuts Movie. All of them were intelligently written and appealed to both children and adults. Now, is Norm of the North an offensive film? No, it is rather harmless for kids. But I cannot recommend it to anyone. Do yourself a favor and skip this one.

Grade: F